funny life quotes and sayings

The inside of a computer is as dumb as hell but it goes like mad! ~Richard Feynman



A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are. ~Chauncey Mitchell Depew



For breath is life, and if you breathe well you will live long on earth. ~Sanskrit Proverb



He who kneels before God can stand before anyone. ~Author Unknown



Things do not change; we change. ~Henry David Thoreau



Hunger makes a thief of any man. ~Pearl S. Buck



What is absurd and monstrous about war is that men who have no personal quarrel should be trained to murder one another in cold blood. ~Aldous Huxley



My whole heart for my whole life. ~French saying used on poesy rings



Be naughty - save Santa a trip. ~Author Unknown



A leader is a dealer in hope. ~Napoleon Bonaparte



There are few who would not rather be taken in adultery than in provincialism. ~Aldous Huxley, Antic Hay, 1923



The stories of childhood leave an indelible impression, and their author always has a niche in the temple of memory from which the image is never cast out to be thrown on the rubbish heap of things that are outgrown and outlived. ~Howard Pyle



The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny. ~Albert Ellis



A mother's happiness is like a beacon, lighting up the future but reflected also on the past in the guise of fond memories. ~Honore de Balzac



There's something about getting up at 5 a.m., feeding the stock and chickens, and milking a couple of cows before breakfast that gives you a lifelong respect for the price of butter and eggs. ~Bill Vaughan



Circumstances are the rulers of the weak; they are but the instruments of the wise. ~Samuel Lover



The first thing you lose on a diet is your sense of humor. ~Author Unknown



Beer is the cause and solution to all of life's problems. ~Homer Simpson



The time to enjoy a European trip is about three weeks after unpacking. ~George Ade, Forty Modern Fables



I'm the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life. It's awful. If I'm on my way to the store to buy a magazine, even, and somebody asks me where I'm going, I'm liable to say I'm going to the opera. It's terrible. ~J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye, Chapter 3