famous funny poems

History is an argument without end. ~Pieter Geyl



Bypasses are devices that allow some people to dash from point A to point B very fast while other people dash from point B to point A very fast. People living at point C, being a point directly in between, are often given to wonder what's so great about point A that so many people from point B are so keen to get there and what's so great about point B that so many people from point A are so keen to get there. They often wish that people would just once and for all work out where the hell they wanted to be. ~Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy



Many a man curses the rain that falls upon his head, and knows not that it brings abundance to drive away the hunger. ~Saint Basil



To know what is right and not do it is the worst cowardice. ~Confucius



Till now man has been up against Nature; from now on he will be up against his own nature. ~Dennis Gabor, Inventing the Future, 1963



I frequently-regularly-often trip while reaching for my high ideals. Then I giggle, or cry, and get back up. ~Erika Harris, lifeblazing.com



You can never worry your way to enlightenment. ~Terri Guillemets



Talk doesn't cook rice. ~Chinese Proverb



All God's angels come to us disguised. ~James Russell Lowell



If a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that not indicate something about your size? ~Sydney J. Harris



Criticizing another's garden doesn't keep the weeds out of your own. ~Author Unknown



A cross-eyed teacher can keep twice the number of children in order than any other, because the pupils do not know who she's looking at. ~Four Hundred Laughs: Or, Fun Without Vulgarity, compiled and edited by John R. Kemble, 1902



Many hands make light work. ~John Heywood



To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live gratitude is to touch Heaven. ~Johannes A. Gaertner



Reality is a palette that humans paint on to let themselves sleep better at night. ~Author Unknown



Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life. ~Charles M. Schulz



The real problem of leisure time is how to keep others from using yours. ~Arthur Lacey



Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance. ~Bruce Barton



There have been only two geniuses in the world. Willie Mays and Willie Shakespeare. ~Tallulah Bankhead



We have always had reluctance to see a tract of land which is empty of men as anything but a void. The "waste howling wilderness" of Deuteronomy is typical. The Oxford Dictionary defines wilderness as wild or uncultivated land which is occupied "only" by wild animals. Places not used by us are "wastes." Areas not occupied by us are "desolate." Could the desolation be in the soul of man? ~John A. Livingston, in Borden Spears, ed., Wilderness Canada, 1970