quotes about guys being stupid

Adultery is the application of democracy to love. ~Henry Louis Mencken, "Sententiae," A Book of Burlesques, 1920



The bicycle is the most efficient machine ever created: Converting calories into gas, a bicycle gets the equivalent of three thousand miles per gallon. ~Bill Strickland



Dawn seemed to follow midnight with indecent haste. ~J.K. Rowling, "Magic is Might," Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, 2007



The only time you don't fail is the last time you try anything - and it works. ~William Strong



When love is lost, do not bow your head in sadness; instead keep your head up high and gaze into heaven for that is where your broken heart has been sent to heal. ~Author Unknown



Literature is an investment of genius which has dividends to all subsequent times. ~John Burroughs



A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job. ~Ella Harris



I'd play every day if I could. It's cheaper than a shrink and there are no telephones on my golf cart. ~Brent Musburger



All the ancient histories, as one of our wits say, are just fables that have been agreed upon. ~Voltaire, Jeannot et Colin



When you have only two pennies left in the world, buy a loaf of bread with one, and a lily with the other. ~Chinese Proverb



Scriptures: the sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based. ~Ambrose Bierce



The most melancholy thing about human nature, is, that a man may guide others into the path of salvation, without walking in it himself; that he may be a pilot, and yet a castaway. ~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827



A man is two people, himself and his cock. A man always takes his friend to the party. Of the two, the friend is the nicer, being more able to show his feelings. ~Beryl Bainbridge



Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious. ~William Feather



Envy is thin because it bites but never eats. ~Spanish Proverb



There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. ~Erma Bombeck, I Lost Everything in the Post-Natal Depression



I'll tell you a big secret, my friend: Don't wait for the Last Judgment. It happens every day. ~Albert Camus, The Fall, 1956



History, in general, only informs us what bad government is. ~Thomas Jefferson



The best leader is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it. ~Theodore Roosevelt



Nothing is further than Earth from Heaven: nothing is nearer than Heaven to Earth. ~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827