good quotes about yourself

A wise man is not governed by others, nor does he try to govern them; he prefers that reason alone prevail. ~La Bruyere, Characters, 1688



A great many people think that polysyllables are a sign of intelligence. ~Barbara Walters



If a horse can't eat it, I don't want to play on it. ~Dick Allen, on artificial turf, 1970



This is a little prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess if they are going to force those kids to pray in schools they might as well have a nice prayer like this: Our Father who art in heaven, and to the republic for which it stands, thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in heaven, give us this day as we forgive those who so proudly we hail. Crown thy good into temptation but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming. Amen and Awomen. ~George Carlin



Up to a point a man's life is shaped by environment, heredity, and movements and changes in the world about him. Then there comes a time when it lies within his grasp to shape the clay of his life into the sort of thing he wishes to be. Only the weak blame parents, their race, their times, lack of good fortune, or the quirks of fate. Everyone has it within his power to say, "This I am today; that I will be tomorrow." ~Louis L'Amour



I am thankful for the taxes I pay because it means that I'm employed. ~Nancie J. Carmody



Love, love, love - all the wretched cant of it, masking egotism, lust, masochism, fantasy under a mythology of sentimental postures. ~Germaine Greer



When you gamble with safety, you bet your life. ~Author Unknown



A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm. ~Bill Vaughan



Character is what emerges from all the little things you were too busy to do yesterday, but did anyway. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966



Music is the pleasure the human mind experiences from counting without being aware that it is counting. ~Gottfried Leibniz



A pun does not commonly justify a blow in return. But if a blow were given for such cause, and death ensued, the jury would be judges both of the facts and of the pun, and might, if the latter were of an aggravated character, return a verdict of justifiable homicide. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., The Autocrat of the Breakfast-Table, 1858



The payment of taxes gives a right to protection. ~James M. Wayne



I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty. ~John Waters



Many politicians are in the habit of laying it down as a self-evident proposition that no people ought to be free till they are fit to use their freedom. The maxim is worthy of the fool in the old story who resolved not to go into the water till he had learned to swim. ~Thomas Macaulay Many politicians lay it down as a self-evident proposition, that no people ought to be free till they are fit to use their freedom. The maxim is worthy of the fool in the old story, who resolved not to go into the water till he had learned to swim. ~Thomas Macaulay



The more humanity advances, the more it is degraded. ~Gustave Flaubert



Housework is something you do that nobody notices until you don't do it. ~Author Unknown



I always felt that the great high privilege, relief and comfort of friendship was that one had to explain nothing. ~Katherine Mansfield



To err is human, to purr is feline. ~Robert Byrne



One almost expects one of the players to peer into the monitor and politely request viewers to refrain from munching so loudly on cheese and crackers while the golfers are trying to reach the greens. ~Pete Alfano